Wednesday, May 13, 2009

What To Do In The Storms of Life

We all have troubles, trials and tribulations in this life. That's to be expected.

But what do you do, what should you do, when it seems like there is no hope, that the flood is going to overwhelm you?

It does not matter whether the trouble is physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, or all of the above. There is one thing that we must do, that must be our testimony.

I'll trust you, Lord.

Because my life belongs to You and You've never failed me, Jesus - I'll trust you.

Because You promised that you would never leave me nor forsake me - I'll trust you.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Free Indeed....

One can never know what true freedom is really like, unless one has been in bondage and has taken the steps to liberate oneself from the chains of misery that have bound them for so long....

Being made free when one has no power to free oneself is one thing. God has delivered all of us from the power of sin through his dying on the cross, and our accepting his sacrifice for us. We had no power to free ourselves from sin, and thus we are always eternally grateful to Him, and owe Him nothing less than our total devotion.

It is another thing entirely when one has allowed oneself to be bound - by people, by false opinions, etc. - and one takes the extraordinary step of liberating one's self from those debilitating chains.

Ever since Sunday, when I finally, after years of contemplation, left my church home, I have been absolutely estatic inside.

(author's note: I will be adding details and comments as time allows, and as I am lead by the Spirit, to share my experience)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Sunday, April 12, 2009

When Managers Fail...

I had written this back in May 2007....
You know, one would think that in 21st century America that the specter of racism would have already been banished to the corners of some distant forgotten memory. The Imus controversy certainly dispelled that notion, for sure. But that was an event that even though it was close to home, didn't quite hit the mark for me. Yes, I was somewhat alarmed when I found out about what had been said, but at least one thing can be said about Imus: his racism wasn't subtle. You couldn't miss it, and it could not be dismissed. Nor should it have been. But what does one do when it stares you in the face and you can't even put your hands on it?
Have you ever heard of Jimmie's of Savin Rock? It is a nice restaurant in West Haven, Connecticut where people from all over the state, and even perhaps from out of town, go to enjoy some very delicious seafood. Of course, it didn't start out as a seafood restaurant, but I digress. Every year, on my wife's birthday and on our wedding anniversary, we make it our business to head to Jimmie's for our night to ourselves. We usually don't diverge much from the usual order: fried shrimp, fries, salad, bread. Maybe fried mozzarella for an appetizer. Usually it is a pleasant affair for the both of us: the wait isn't too long; we are served within a reasonable amount of time, considering the place is usually busy; and we leave a generous tip for the waitress/waiter serving us, even if the waitress/waiter is a little too long in getting our order to us.
On May 6, my wife and I celebrated the magical 7 year mark of our marriage by taking the customary trip to Jimmie's (her choice, but again, I digress). We arrived at Jimmie's at 4:25 and gave our names to the maitre'd to be seated. There was quite a crowd there. My step-son's grandmother (who's birthday happened to be the same day, lol) and her family were also there, as were several other groups of people waiting patiently to be seated. My wife and I, and our 3 year old daughter (not gonna get into that one here) sat down and waited for about 20 minutes before we were called. This is going great so far, I thought, as I asked the maitre'd to seat us at a booth by the window, and was graciously obliged accordingly. We sat down and waited for maybe 10 minutes before the waitress came to see us. The young lady took our order, then headed to her other tables. My wife and I talked, and waited...and waited. The young lady eventually arrived with our drinks 10 minutes later, then off she went again. About another 15 minutes had passed before we got our salad and bread; she arrived shortly after I had asked another waitress about being served because it seemed as if our waitress had disappeared. So now it is about 5:20 and at that time several other parties have been seated..and served their drinks, and their salads...and their orders!! Including my step-son's grandmother! My wife looked at all of this in disbelief. I tried to put a positive spin on it by suggesting that the waitress did have other tables to wait on, but inside, I was slowing coming to a simmering boil. The manager, Lisa, came out and spoke to the party seated diagonally across from us for a moment, then she walked off to see about something else. One of the ladies at that table (they had received their order and were enjoying their food already, mind you, after having been seated after we were by at least 20 minutes), happened to look at us and she asked me, "Y'all haven't been served yet?" No. "And y'all were seated way before we were!" She called to the manager "hey, Lisa, these folks were seated before we were and they haven't gotten their order yet".
Now, I am 33 years old. I have worked in restaurants, in dining halls, and for catering services. One thing I know from experience is customer service protocol in the food service industry. You would think that the manager would have approached us and asked us if she could be of any assistance or at least ask if there was a problem. What Lisa did, in a rather nonchalant way, was this: "Oh, I don't know if their order was well done, we'll have to see", and walked off. That was at 5:35. When Lisa finally did approach our table, it was 5:45, the waitress had just brought our order out, and the three of us were nearly famished, not to mention a little put off by the whole affair. It got much, much worse. Lisa asked us if there was a problem, and my wife began to let her know that we had been waiting for our food for nearly an hour. Lisa proceeded to pull out the register receipt for our order and dismissively asserted that our order was put in at 5:27 and we received it at 5:43, so we waited only 15 minutes. My wife tried to explain to Lisa that we were seated before 5 p.m.; at that point Lisa dismissed my wife's claims by saying "we'll just have to see about that", and asked if there was still a problem. At that point I spoke. "Yes, there is a problem. First of all, my wife is trying to explain to you that we have been sitting here for almost an hour waiting for our food..." I get cut off with the line "but your order went in at 5:27 and you received it at 5:43, so you only waited 15 minutes." Rude and discourteous. I continue: "we have been waiting for a while as other guests have come in and have been seated and received their orders. I understand that our waitress has other tables, but now the problem isn't so much with her as it is with you, because one, my wife has tried to let you know what's been going on and you've dismissed her; furthermore, when these customers over here.." and I pointed in their direction "...let you know that we had been seated before them and had not yet been served, you didn't even bother to come over and see what the problem was or ask us if there was a problem, you just dismissed the complaint..." Again, Lisa cut me off, this time with all of the snobbery you could possibly expect from a Southern belle being addressed by an 'uppity nigger': "I've been knowing these people for a long time, and they always treat me with respect, and I expect the same from you". My wife had had it at that point. "Just leave it alone, William". I was having none of that. "Furthermore, as a manager, when the problem was brought to your attention, you should have at least came and seen about us..." Once again, cut off by Lisa: "You shouldn't have been sticking your nose in my conversation with them, and I don't have to do anything"...and she walked off.
I resolved to never patronize Jimmie's again - loudly. But after my wife and I had managed to eat a little, the lady that first tried to help us gave us a little laugh "Y'all must have had a hot service this morning, cause that was nothing but the devil actin' up". We shook our heads in agreement, then she went on to encourage us not to give up Jimmie's if we really liked the place. She related how she and Lisa had butted heads when she first started frequenting Jimmie's, and now they get along famously. Truth be told, I did not want to - I love their tartar sauce (it really is out of this world) and their fried fillet of sole is almost to die for. So instead I resolved to write to the owners of the establishment about my experience that day in the hopes that it would never again be repeated. I requested the manager's name from her, and several of the workers there. She outright refused to give it, and directed her subordinates to refuse my request, with the line "This man doesn't need to know my name". I even waited a few weeks and called Jimmie's with my request, and was told that last names are not given out. "Besides, she's the only Lisa here, so if you address any correspondence to her, she will receive it", was the response I got. I suppose that since I have mentioned her by name more than a few times, it is obvious that I managed to get her name; as the saying goes, there is more than one way to skin a cat.
What really, really irked me about the whole episode was the sense that if I had not been an educated, articulate (let's not go there on this one) black man, that the manager may have approached me quite differently. Or better still, if I had not been a black man who knows that, as a general rule, the customer is always right (especially in the food service industry) and who was unwilling to let that type of discourtesy go unchecked or unaddressed, that there was the distinct possibility that it could happen again. And again, and again, and again. No, I think that it is best that when people, regardless of race or gender are disrespected and treated in an unprofessional manner that those instances be addressed.

Where's The Love for Where We Live?



I think that one of the best ways to promote one's online presence is to make it a point to include your local area in your blogs. I've noticed that many of the more popular bloggers have some sort of line, link or reference to their city or town.

So why hasn't anyone done this for Waterbury yet?

This reminds me of a comment that my friend Karriem made when I went back to visit UPenn in 1998. "What's great about Waterbury?" His comment made me start and look around my city in a whole new light. Now, let me answer that 11 year old question by giving it a different spin:

The top five reasons why Waterbury is a great place to live:

1) The right size. Waterbury is not so large that you can't get from one side of town to the next in under 15, 20 minutes tops, and it is not so small that you have to wait 3 minutes before you see anything remotely resembling civilization.

2) You can actually see the sky, unobstructed. Waterbury happens to be nestled among seven major hills, with the Naugatuck River running somewhat west of the center of the city. Even in the lower parts of the city, you can look up and see the clouds and sun during the day, and the moon and stars at night. The view from East Mountain, Bunker Hill, Bucks Hill, and West Side Hill is absolutely breathtaking. Can you say that about any major city, unless you're in the outskirts?

3) The right atmosphere. Low crime rate, great neighborhoods, a comparatively decent school system and the feeling of suburbia with a touch of urban charm make Waterbury the ideal place to raise a family. It's one of the many reasons why I went back after 4 years of college.

4) The diversity. Sure, almost every city can boast about that - but I'm not only talking about diversity in terms of ethnicity. The neighborhoods are about as different from one another as you can possibly get. Some have mostly multi-families, others have only single-family homes, still others have mixtures of both single and multi-family housing, and condos. Unlike my college town, with its scores upon scores of rowhouses (seriously, all over the city, almost nothing but rowhouses - it was the one thing I hated about the place).

5) The birthplace of Timex. That was the answer to my friend's flippant comment about Waterbury being a "nothing, nowhere, unimportant" town. Who hasn't heard of Timex? What started out as The Waterbury Watch and Clock Company in 1854 became one of the most trusted and reliable makers of personal time pieces throughout the world.



Now for the best part: Any fellow Waterburians want to add to the list?

Being A Dad and A Realtor - How Do WE Do It?

What about those of us, the millions of us who are doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing?

Being a dad is the #1 most important thing that I do. I have been there for all of my children's imprortant firsts - first steps, first steps, first teeth, you name it, I've been there. Not only have I been there, but everything that I do outside of the house - from teaching, to real estate, to delivering newspapers at 3 am in the morning, to selling vacuum cleaners, to babysitting - all of it has been for the express purpose of doing what I have to do as a father - to provide for my home, my wife, and my children.

Is it hard? Yes, it sure is! And I am absolutely certain that every dad can attest to the same. So, How do WE do it?

First and foremost, I remind myself everyday that what I do is for my children.

Then I make sure that I take time with them, even in the midst of my busy schedule. And I sacrifice everything for them.

My son got sick - kept having ear infections. I took the day off from my job to bring him to the doctor. Not his mother, ME!!! I missed faculty meetings and listing appointments and showings to make sure that my son was ok. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat! It wouldn't be a second thought.

When my children wake up in the morning, I'm usually gone already. But when I get home, you should see the smile that lights up their faces, especially my little man - it is absolutely the best feeling in the world.

I am teaching my son what he needs to know - by my example and with my words - how to grow up to become a man, and as he gets older, I can teach him what being a father is really all about.

When I am working from my home office, when it is time for him to be fed or get his milk, I do it. When he needs to be changed, I do it. When it is time for him to be put to sleep, he is not a momma's boy - oh, no. He comes and gets Me! And what do I do? I turn off the monitor, turn out the lights, and I put my son to sleep.

I recently discovered, from my wife, that my son has an arm on him. Only 1 years and 4 months old, but has an arm on him, and I strongly suspect that he, like his older sister, is left handed. So me, being the anti-sports guy that I am, decided instead of stifling his new-found interest, that I would encourage it. So, when i get home from work, what do I do? I find his toy balls (football, soccer ball, you name it, he's got it) and we toss it around for awhile. If we don't, he'll tell me "ball!" and I go and get it for him.

So how about it, fellas? Let's show the Mom Realtors how WE do it!

I John 4:10 on 4/10/09


As many celebrate on this day the death of Jesus on the cross, we need to be reminded in the midst of all the commercialization and degradation of this most holy of seasons what the true meaning of Good Friday and Easter is:

"Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins"

He said that greater love hath no man than this - that a man lay down his life for his friends.

We weren't born his friends, but his enemies - because we were born in sin - yet he counted us as his friends when He died for us! Isn't that love?

Friday, April 10, 2009

You're Next In Line...

I was reading Sheila Bragg's recent post on ActiveRain regarding our responses to the challenges of life, and she said PUSH! (pray until something happens), which is just how every circumstance of life should be faced. As I was thinking about what she said, it brought to my mind an old Shirley Caesar song - You're Next In Line For A Miracle. This is for everyone and anyone who is going through hard times right now - whether they be financial, emotional, physical or spiritual - just keep on believing in God and know that you're next in line...

Youre Next In Line For A Miracle - Shirley Ceasar

Monday, March 16, 2009

Waterbury's Best Kept Secret...

It has been sitting there for probably as long as Waterbury has been standing.

I have known about all of Waterbury's neighborhoods all of my life - except for this one, and I have to admit, my jaw dropped when I saw it. Not even Country Club, with its half-a-million dollar homes, can compare to this neighborhood. Not even close.

I happened to stumble across this hidden gem of Waterbury's neighborhoods because I was showing one of the houses there to one of my clients - and even they didn't know that it existed.

Nestled along a bend in the Naugatuck River right before you get into Naugatuck, lies the Platts Mills neighborhood. The scenery is absolutely bucolic - peaceful, serene. You can watch the river leap incessantly over the rocks in its onward march towards the Housatanic, the ground carpeted with pine needles lightly browned by age. Seeing the sunlight glint off of the glistened rocks carries you backwards to a time when you could be carefree. I really wish that I had my camera on me when I was there.

You can just imagine in warmer seasons people in the neighborhood bringing out picnic baskets and setting down blankets to sit and enjoy the day. I can see the elderly neighbors easily taking a stroll along the neighborhoods' seven streets, and not even geting tired. Yes, one could actually walk this neighborhood in about all of 30-40 minutes tops, without even breaking a sweat.

The best thing about the neighborhood, besides the gorgeous scenery, is that the houses are absolutely affordable. Not only are they affordable, but they are an eclectic mix - of colonials, and ranches, split levels and capes, and even a duplex or two - and they are not, from external appearances, run down. Just from the house that I showed to my clients (which was vacant, and still intact! - no missing copper, etc.), I would surmise that very little work, if any would need to be done on any house in the neighborhood besides regular upkeep and maintenance.

If anyone is looking for a conjestion/traffic free area in which to raise a family, to send children to the best possible school (I believe either Tinker or Gilmartin are the public elementary schools for this neighborhood), with plenty of yard space for play, and a nice, friendly atmosphere, then the Platts Mills neighborhood of Waterbury, CT is definitely the place for you.