My Marriage...

Began on May 6, 2000. It was one of the happiest days of my life.
Fast forward 10 years and 6 months, and I don't even know if I want to continue being married.

That started more than 5 months ago. I can't even begin to pinpoint exactly when I started...falling out of love with my wife, but I will say this: it wasn't any one thing that did it, and it wasn't something that happened over the course of months, but rather, over years...how many? I don't know for certain, but I suspect that it began with that first incident well over 8 years ago. We were at Deacon Collins house for Memorial Day, and I distinctly remember laughing and carrying on with some of the brothers outside, and Moretta said something...exactly what it was I cannot remember for certain, but what I do remember is that it was something along the lines of "you shouldn't be acting like that..." It froze me cold. Here I was, enjoying myself, having fun, not doing anything that could have been misinterpreted or construed as outside the bounds of Christian conduct, and my wife comes out of nowhere and tells me how I should behave. When we got home, we spoke about it...to the point where I went upstairs to my bedroom and muttered to myself "it's not fair, it's not fair", and as I was muttering, I was also spinning around, swinging my hands in the air and kicking the air. Unfortunately, my kick landed in the wall. Left a hole in the wall. It scared her. I was supposed to preach in that next evening's service, but I called my pastor that morning and told him that I would not be able to preach in the evening service. The details of that meeting are unimportant except for two things: Moretta was "embarrased" that she had to meet with me in the pastor's office, and I was held accountable for "making things right", as all issues she had with me were my fault. Oh, and there was an admonishment for us to pray together. Tried to set that up, hmph. She had more important things to do.


Something she said today in the marriage counselor's office crystallized for me what my problem with this marriage has always been. In recounting the event that landed me in therapy, the marriage counselor asked Moretta how she felt about the incident when it happened. "I was devastated", was Moretta's reply, "it was all in the paper and everything. His actions don't just affect him, they affect everybody".

Wait. Never in 10 years of teaching prior to this had any such event happened, it was totally out of character for me, and her response was "I was devastated, because his actions don't just affect him, they affect everybody"??? Not "wait, that's not my husband, something else was bothering him"? Not "It's gonna be alright, I know why you're so stressed out"???

The problem is, there was another problem altogether. I was assisting an elderly gentleman who had passed out that Sunday, by calling the ambulance and relaying the information. One of the man's nieces came out and started causing a scene with me, to the point where I had to leave the premises shortly after the arrival of the ambulance and police. Apparently as I was trying to get away from the woman, I brushed her aside; she called it being "pushed" and decided to call Moretta and tell her that I had pushed her. Mind you, I was already agitated over the woman's behavior towards me while I was assisting her uncle, and I had spoken to my wife about it. But did my wife say to me, "calm down, don't worry about it"? No. She questioned whether I had said or done anything to start with the woman. And, when the woman called and said I pushed her, Moretta started giving me the third degree. Instead of her saying to the woman, "I know my husband, he didn't push you, and if he did, it was an accident and not on purpose", she gave me the third degree, asking me if I had. At the time, I knew that I had not pushed her (at least not with my hands or deliberately), so I told Moretta so...but inside, I was totally aghast. Here is the woman who is supposed to know me and love me, and instead of supporting me and loving me, and helping me to deal with this incident, she's making it worse. I have nobody to talk to, no one to love me, really love me.

It took my mother to realize that there was something else going on. She told me, that when a man has love and support at home, stress doesn't get to him. He is able to manage the curveballs that life throws at him, because he has a support base. I didn't have that. That's why I snapped that day in my classroom.

If I Had an Extra $220 In Savings from Buying Ink Cartridges, I Would…

If I Had an Extra $220 In Savings from Buying Ink Cartridges, I Would…

Wow, $220. That’s really a lot of money to save just from buying ink cartridges, don’t you think?

Seriously, though, when I think of spending any type of money on charitable causes, I usually don’t limit myself to such a small amount, only because I know that most issues that need to be addressed could never be satisfactorily addressed by such a meager amount.

     But sometimes it’s not the amount that matters, just the idea that you thought enough of the cause to contribute anything in the first place.

     So, what would I do if I had $220 in savings from buying ink cartridges?

Assuming that I would save $220 annually from buying ink cartridges, I would

            - defray the cost of books for a senior entering college. College textbooks have always been expensive, and not all scholarships can be used for such purposes;

            - expand on the idea above by creating a scholarship fund for the purpose of paying for a student’s freshman year textbooks in their entirety; the $220 would only be the initial start-up money for the scholarship and I would encourage others in the community to contribute or match my initial donation;

- donate the money to the local Police Activity League, which provides after school tutoring and other programs for urban school children that boosts their performance in school;

- purchase an assortment of toys to donate for the Toys for Tots program;

- purchase needed food items for donation to a local soup kitchen during the holiday season.

As you can see, I don’t think I could make up my mind about any one use of the savings I would acquire if I were able to save $220 just from buying ink cartridges. But all of the programs and/or events that I would donate my savings to be worthwhile causes, IMHO, and it sure beats plowing that savings into buying more ink…

This post is for the ActiveRain 'I could save $220 with Kodak Contest. I have a chance to win a free Kodak Printer, $$220 in cash to use for the idea in my blog post, and an extra $100 to use toward ink!.

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The Contest:

Create a blog post that details what you would do with an extra $220 this year. Get creative. Posts must be a minimum of 200 words and a maximum of 500 words.

1. Include: '$220 in savings' in the title of your blog post somewhere

2. Mark your post for the 'ActiveRain' channel and include it in the topic 'I can save $220'

3. Post a link to your blog post on the Facebook fan page wall of both ActiveRain and Kodak. In the 'write something' section, include 'If I saved $220 this year I would.........(and finish the sentence)'.

(This one is optional. The Facebook terms of service don't allow us to make this a requirement)

4. Follow @kodakrealestate on Twitter

5. On your twitter account, make a tweet, with a link back to your blog post that includes '@kodakrealestate If I saved $220 this year I would........ (and finish the sentence)'.

6. In the footer of your post include: "This post is for the ActiveRain 'I could save $220 with Kodak Contest. I have a chance to win a free Kodak Printer, $$220 in cash to use for the idea in my blog post, and an extra $100 to use toward ink!."

7. Posts must be written and all requirements fulfilled by November 23rd, 2010 at 11:59pm Eastern Time. We will announce the two winners on November 30th, 2010.

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The Prizes:

1. All posts written for the contest will receive 2000 ActiveRain points.

2. Two lucky agents will be selected by a panel of judges (including staff from Kodak and ActiveRain) to receive: a free Kodak printer (Kodak ESP 6150 Office), $100 cash for ink or office needs, and $220 cash to spend on their idea from their blog post. One winner will be selected at Random from all participants and one winner will be selected based on the creativity of their post.

3. Kodak will ship the printer free to the winners and also send a check for the $320 cash prize via ActiveRain.

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Requiem For A Marriage...

When do you walk away?
How do you let go?
Why do you still hold on
to a love grown cold?
When is it time to say goodbye?
Why hold back tears we
are meant to cry?
Memories that once brought joy
become bittersweet
No smile at the thought
of pleasures past
A wistful sigh so deep
betrays a love
that could not last
The touch that once
brought a thrill
Ceases to bring silent wonder
Excitement gone
from the voice
that once showed so much hunger
for the presence
of the other...

The love died...
hearts sighed...
and souls cried...

Waterbury, CT Taxes - What To Do About It?

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Waterbury, CT Taxes – What To Do About It?

 

Waterbury, CT taxes – what to do about it? On Friday, June 11, 2010, the Waterbury, CT Board of Aldermen, by a 9 to 6 vote, elected to raise the mill rate in Waterbury, CT by 1.9 mills, from 39.92 mills to 41.82 mills, thus increasing taxes for Waterbury, CT residents. The tax increase for Waterbury, CT goes into effect on July 1, 2010.

 

Below is a summary chart which reflects the tax increase a Waterbury, CT residential homeowner (including condo and multi-family owners) would see in their upcoming tax bill based on the assessed value of their property. Waterbury, CT real estate taxes are assessed at 70% of the homes’ fair market value as determined by the Waterbury, CT Assessor’s Office.

 

Assessment	Current Taxes	Tax on 7/1/10	Increase	Assessment	Current Taxes	Tax on 7/1/10	Increase
50,000	1996	2091	95	210,000	8383	8782	399
60,000	2395	2509	114	220,000	8782	9200	418
70,000	2794	2927	133	230,000	9182	9619	437
80,000	3194	3346	152	240,000	9581	10037	456
90,000	3593	3764	171	250,000	9980	10455	475
100,000	3992	4182	190	260,000	10379	10873	494
110,000	4391	4600	209	270,000	10778	11291	513
120,000	4790	5018	228	280,000	11178	11738	560
130,000	5190	5437	247	290,000	11577	12157	580
140,000	5589	5855	266	300,000	11976	12546	570
150,000	5988	6273	285	310,000	12375	12964	589
160,000	6387	6691	304	320,000	12774	13382	608
170,000	6786	7109	323	330,000	13174	13801	627
180,000	7186	7528	342	340,000	13573	14219	646
190,000	7585	7946	361	350,000	13972	14637	665
200,000	7984	8364	380	360,000	14371	15055	684

 

If you are a Waterbury, CT resident and you want to know what your Waterbury, CT real estate assessment is, you can find the information at the Waterbury, CT Assessor’s Office, located at 26 Kendrick Street.

 

So, what can we as Waterbury, CT residents do about this tax increase?

 

·        Contact the Waterbury, CT Board of Aldermen to register your complaint about the unfair tax burden that this tax increase poses to you.

·        Attend upcoming Waterbury, CT Board of Aldermen meetings to voice your concerns about the impact of this tax increase.

·        File an appeal of your Waterbury, CT real estate assessment with the Waterbury, CT Assessor Board of Appeals. There is a time limit by which you must file your appeal, so visit the Waterbury, CT Assessor’s Office for more information.

 

An item of interest that Waterbury, CT residents should be aware of: revaluation, the process by which the Waterbury, CT Assessor’s Office is to determine the fair market value for all real property in the city, is, according to state statute, due every five years. Waterbury, CT last underwent the revaluation process in 2007, right at the time when real estate values had reached their zenith and were beginning to plummet. The next revaluation for Waterbury, CT is due to occur in 2012.

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Untitled

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Webster Bank Ice Cream Give-Away

 

Webster Bank, headquartered in Waterbury, CT, is sponsoring a ice cream truck that has been traveling throughout the area and surrounding states delivering free frozen treats.

 

The Webster Ice Cream Truck will be in Waterbury, CT on June 26, 2010 from 10:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m., stopping at the Brass Mill Center Crime Stoppers event from 12:30 to 4:00 p.m.

 

Catch the truck on its route or stop by the Brass Mill Center to get your free ice cream treat!

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Let it be me Pastor David g Evans

Waterbury, CT Relay For Life Event June 5-6, 2010

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Starting Saturday, June 5, 2010 at 8 a.m., and ending on Sunday, June 6, 2010 at 8 a.m., the American Cancer Society will be having its annual Relay for Life at Crosby High School, located at 300 Pierpont Road in the city’s East End. Many teams from schools across the city, as well as volunteer organizations will be paricipating in the Relay for Life event to raise money to support cancer research and those who have fought the disease and won, as well as to remember those who lost their battle with cancer. You can visit the Relay for Life website for more information.

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